Simple, Transparent Pricing

Choose the plan that fits your protest operations. Scale up anytime.

Monthly Annual Save 20%

Starter (Armchair Activist)

Will hold a sign but won't shout. Complains about the sun.

₹0/mo
  • 1 active profile (Runs away at first sight of police)
  • Basic availability badge
  • Standard readiness score
  • Community support
  • 5 profile views per month
  • Basic protest history

No credit card required

Popular

Plus (Lathi-Charge Dodger)

Guaranteed minimum 90 decibels. Fast runners.

₹999/mo
  • Includes 1 guy who brings his own water cannon umbrella
  • Unlimited profile views
  • Priority availability highlighting
  • Energy badge customization
  • Weekend traffic blocking included
  • Short-notice boost
  • Advanced crowd readiness analytics
  • Profile visibility boosts (2x/month)
  • Slogan sync templates (10 included)
  • Email support

14-day free trial

Team (Jail Bharo Premium)

Willing to get arrested for the cause. Bail assistance included.

₹2,499/mo
  • Includes 5 'Professional Victims'
  • Up to 25 team profiles
  • Bail prediction dashboard
  • Bulk availability management
  • Formation planning tools
  • Chant synchronization suite
  • Banner inventory tracking
  • Priority matching algorithm
  • Crowd energy forecasting
  • Dedicated account manager

Enterprise (National Crisis Mode)

News Channel Camera Magnet feature. Twitter/X Trending Guarantee.

Custom
  • Highway Blockade Optimization Algorithm
  • Guaranteed Prime Time News Debate Mentions
  • Custom readiness scoring models
  • Advanced crowd dynamics simulation
  • Multi-city coordination hub
  • Real-time enthusiasm monitoring
  • White-label profile pages
  • Custom API access
  • On-site engagement optimization
  • 24/7 premium support
  • Unlimited mock listings

Compare Plans

Detailed feature comparison for all (fictional) tiers.

Features Starter Plus Team Enterprise
Profile limit 1 1 Up to 25 Unlimited
Availability badges Basic Advanced Advanced Custom
Readiness scoring Standard Advanced Analytics Forecasting Custom Models
Energy analytics Real-time
Slogan templates 10 templates Synchronization suite Custom generation
Banner tracking Inventory Fleet management
Team management Bulk operations Multi-city hub
API access Custom endpoints
Support level Community Email Account Manager 24/7 Premium
Mock listings Standard Boosted Priority Unlimited

Pricing FAQ

Common questions about our fictional subscriptions.

Since all plans are fictional, you can imagine switching anytime! In our mock universe, downgrading from 'National Crisis Mode' to 'Armchair Activist' takes 3 business days and a public apology letter.

Yes, our 14-day free trial includes unlimited imaginary stone-pelting. Just kidding. We are a peaceful SaaS, and also completely fake.

None! This is a satirical website. No real payments are processed. All pricing is fictional.

If our fake protestors don't get you on prime time news within 24 hours, we will refund 0% of the ₹0 you paid us. Terms and conditions apply.

Not Sure Which Plan Is Right for You?

Our (fictional) engagement consultants are standing by to help you find the perfect fit.

Remember: This is all fictional. No real plans exist.